INT. APARTMENT/HOUSE -- AFTERNOON
A guy is sitting on his couch watching television, when
suddenly we hear a buzz and see a flash of light from behind him. He
turns to look and sees a large slob-like character behind
him
SLOB
Hi
GUY
Who the hell are you?
SLOB
Nah dude, don't worry about it. I'm
you.... from the future. the future
you... from the future
We get some chances to compare the two guys, who look NOTHING
alike.
GUY
But you're way taller than I am
SLOB
Psh.. everybody's taller in the future
GUY
Why are you here?
SLOB
Just trying to law low 'til this
whole thing blows over.
GUY
What WHOLE thing?
SLOB
Dude, you let me worry about that.
All you need to know is that ONE DAY
fake sharks may help save seat
turtles.
GUY
WHAT!!!???!?!?
SLOB
You'll understand in 20 years.
GUY
Let me get this straight; You're
supposed to be me from 20 years in
the future?
SLOB
Isn't it obvious
GUY
You look nothing like me. You're
taller, fatter, have different hair
and eye color, a strange smell, no
toes.
(looks down at Slob's
feet, but the camera
doesn't follow)
GUY (CONT'D)
....and a bunch of other crazy stuff
I can't say because there are kids
that watch this show.. and hey, is
that blood on your shirt?
SLOB
I guess you just don't know much
about the future, city boy.
Guy just stares at him blankly, trying to talk, but can't
because he's dumbfounded.
GUY
Wh-wha-wait, what? City boy??? What
the hell does that even mean?
SLOB
Right. Like you're not from the city?
You're forgetting that I know
everything about you. I can somehow
predict every move you'll make,
because I already made them all....
10 years ago.
GUY
You said 20 before!?!?
SLOB
What's the difference? The future's
the future.... city boy.
Guy is so mad at the Slob that he feels violence is the only
answer, and pull out a gun.
GUY
If I'm going to grow up to be you in
10 to 20 years, I'm not sure I want
to live anymore. I'm going to kill
myself.
SLOB
You're not going to kill yourself...
re.. you... me .. us.
GUY
I'll do it. I really will.
SLOB
Fine. I see there's no stopping you.
Whatever. No skin off my back."
GUY
But if you're me........????
SLOB
What?
GUY
No matter. I'll just shoot myself in
the back and we'll just see if its
"no skin off YOUR back".
SLOB
I think you're taking this whole
thing wrong. If I were you, and
believe me I AM, I'd relish the idea
of a new roommate who shares all my
dreams and deepest desires.
GUY
You make it sound so creepy.
SLOB
Well, lets just say a lot has changed
in the future, Jeff.
GUY
What??!!?!?! My name isn't Jeff. I
think you have the wrong house.
SLOB
Psh! Force of habit. That's what
EVERYONE is called in the future.
GUY
You're going to have to prove
yourself. What IS my name?
SLOB
What a ridiculous question. It's
been so long I can hardly remember
MY OWN name, much less yours.
GUY
You tell me my real name or I'll
kill myself!!!
SLOB
Wait.. That makes absolutely no sense.
Take it from me, the future you.
GUY
What do you mean?
SLOB
Well, you're trying to make me admit
that I'm NOT really you from the
semi-distant future, although I am,
so therefore, if I'm not you, how
would killing yourself affect me?
Like I haven't seen thousands of men,
far braver than you, die in the
Jungles of Canada.
GUY
Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I
should only kill myself if you really
ARE the me from the future.... Just
to teach you a lesson.
SLOB
Um... You might be missing the point.
GUY
What?
SLOB
Okay. Fine. I'm not the you from the
future. I was just cold and hungry.
I needed a place to stay. I didn't
want to actually put forth effort.
GUY
I don't believe you.
SLOB
Wait a second. A minute ago you didn't
believe I was the you of tomorrow,
but now you do? What changed?
GUY
Well, I'm very confused now. I wasn't
earlier. Plus, you seem honest
enough... Other than the blood.
SLOB
Yeah, it's amazing what they don't
want you to do on a playground.
GUY
What?
SLOB
Nothing. Why don't we just agree
that it doesn't matter who I am or
where I'm from. Let's just agree to
be pals and enjoy our time as
roommates.
GUY
Sounds fair enough.
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