The Deadly Ass Bolt

thing 1 - "I saw that Ronald Reagan died yesterday."

thing 2 - " forget that, check this out. I read this on a website today:"

"When a woman was found dead in her bathroom with rope around her neck and hands, the police didn't know what to make of it. No forced entry, her boyfriend passed a lie detector test, and her hands weren't actually tied together. Interestingly, though, a metal bolt was found under her buttocks...Careful investigation suggested that she was masturbating with the bolt while strangulating herself with the rope. She probably fell unconscious, banging her head against the bathtub, and died, suffocating on her own vomit."

thing 1 - "sounds like a hero's death to me"

thing 2 - "no kidding. like dying in battle"

thing 1 - "like dying in battle... with a bolt in your ass.....as many proud Americans have done for thousands of years"

thing 2 - "also a common enough death for the Vikings of yore."

thing 1 - "I wouldn't know"