"I am giving great consideration to running your first born through a duck press."

+ = Obviously, its a duck press.... jerk...

"A Duck Press is used to press out the juice [preferably of ducks, or children], which is used as seasoning over the meat slices."

"Generally, the duck/child is cooked for around 20 minutes, the cooked breast/child meat is sliced for serving, and the partially cooked legs are finished cooking separately. The carcass is then pressed, together with some good red wine, brandy, etc., and the resulting juices poured over the slices."

For more information on duck presses and children, visit your local library.